sunflower girlfriend.

you are

with your beautiful girlfriend,

in her room,

as the light shines in,

the sun feeds her,

you recite pablo neruda,

it makes her feel real,

sometimes you wonder

if she is.

make me the queen of your lust.

i love the body that feels too heavy for me to hold. a thick, dense mass of ocean forming weight around skin. i fill it with chocolate, sweet bitters, and dark ecstasy. i am not afraid of it. underneath it moves me, repressed sexual emotions of my hidden 3rd sun. mars rules it with an iron fist; my body sweat collecting, at the bottom, dense carnal memory. i dress it up, all bound with power, this fertile love, and inside me, little star bombs explode. i imagine that my mind is wrapped around a flower bud (my body-a goddess) and i eat aphrodisiacs alive. i let the cells enter me and soothe me into my immortal young womb. i swift the mylk throughout my body, layed on skin, parts that grow out of form. he (who devours me) loves me when i'm innocent and malleable like that. it is when i am with he that i become unwound from memory, the dark fertile queen, devouring all mortal passion into dust.

what i want...

i want to get the toxins, chemicals, and junk out of my blood.
i want to move my body and dance ecstatically.
i want to unravel the spine, and let divine light move through my nervous system.
i want my mother to understand, let go, breathe.
i want love everywhere and all.
i want to wake up clear, bright, and joyous with the life force.
i want g-d in my cells, perfect divine order.
i am what i want...

someday soon...

someday soon i will return. for now it is speed, technology, green tea, and sweet potatoes. and when love calls, warm cocoa with cinnamon and hot spice. oh the winter and the frozen trees!